"My  name is _____, and I am proud to announce my six  years of freedom from the JW's faith. It began when my parents converted  to JWs when I was eight years of age. Having a deep love for God,  learning his name -- seemed so special to me at that  time. Unfortunately, my parents were hypocrites, and they were abusive. Therefore,  to my young mind, love was an impossible concept  to understand or to obtain. Throughout my life I honestly felt I had personally  done my best, and for that, I was on track with  God. My  heart  had pity for people, those who were ignorant  and  not knowing. Little did I realize, it was I who was ignorant. I  know now, I was also judgmental.

I married the only person who indicated he liked me. I  gave birth to a son and then I had a daughter. When my son arrived, it occurred  to me that I was living the life of a hermit as  a  JW.
Financially times were becoming tough and I was eager to start  a new  business. It became very successful and I felt my  life  was beautiful. My enthusiasm was affecting everything.

At the time I was still doing 15-20 hours a week of "door to door" service. Personal study was 10-15 hours a week, and I loved it!  It was at this time I decided to pray both before and  after
each  study session. I was more sincere than ever. I was  reading through  the Bible for the fourth time. For some  reason,  things were  not adding up, or making any sense as I read the Bible,  at
least in line with the JW things I had been taught.

I  began asking questions of the JW elders only to  be  told "you should know the answers". The Elders I confided in, gossiped and  made my concerns everyone's business. My husband felt I was becoming an apostate wife and he could not handle this. For three years this went on. I requested help from the elders and they set goals  for  me.  They would quote Proverbs 31 to  me,  but  never addressed anything to my husband. It was addressed throughout the congregation though!

In ten years of marriage, we did not have two dozen intimate encounters! The two children were truly miracles. He had no need, and  no desire. He used the TV to avoid me. Months would  go by, and even with my every effort, no intimate encounters would  take place.  I was attractive, young, of reasonable weight,  care  for myself,  and family, the children and the household. So why  the neglect?

One night, while I was in a deep sleep, I awoke to find  him virtually raping me. I became very traumatized because father had visited  me in the night as a child and used me the same way.  My nerves were a wreck, my emotions were out of whack. I  confronted my husband confided in the elders and they agreed that it was his right.. So! it was OK to just take, it was OK to rape! It was the last straw amongst my confusion.
I  gathered up my courage and left and filed for divorce.  I was  disfellowshiped by the JW's for smoking, since there was  no adultery charged.

Now came the problems with custody of the children. Since  I never  called  the police about the abuse (I  called  the  elders instead),  I was forced to settle for joint custody. Three  times this man told the children "the God, Jehovah, (you must  love), is  going to kill your Mother". Horrors have only begun.  I  left the  JW's years ago and the ongoing battle is beyond  belief. My daughter and son are wonderful children, and I am grateful to  be their caregiver.
To  update,  my ex-husband (now remarried to a JW)  sued  my business.  He  lost,  but I also lost  everything  defending  the lawsuit. I then obtained a good job but he rallied every possible
JW  to call me at work and cause disruptions at the job place  by their constant phoning. After six months of harassment the company  reluctantly let me go. Complaints to the elders fell on deaf ears,  as  they explained to me that "it was done  for  your  own good".  I am not bitter, but I have learned what love is  not.  I have grown and have become a better person. My life is simple.  I now  have another job and I serve my community. I write my  children wonderful stories and have been able to reach their hearts.

I  have a new husband now who is the kindest man, with  outstanding wisdom, love and patience. We pray together and are  for the  most part a happy family. If God can forgive me for my  divorce,  He  has  not only done that but also blessed  me  with  a soulmate.
I  am  writing  to obtain as much  information  about  child custody  and  the JW's as I can. It is likely I will  be  brought into  court  within the year. I need all the help I can  get.  I thank  you for listening to my story. (contributed  to  McGregor Ministries)

Editor's  note:  This letter is an example of a New  Age  concept still hanging on in this young lady, even though she is a serious Bible student. False beliefs are not easily left behind. A soulmate  is a the most powerful New Age concept which  enables  godhood. It represents an eternal relationship with the opposite sex which culminates in godhood, non-existent in God's creation.

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