"My name is _____, and I am proud to announce my
six years of freedom from the JW's faith. It began when
my parents converted to JWs when I was eight years of age.
Having a deep love for God, learning his name -- seemed
so special to me at that time. Unfortunately, my parents
were hypocrites, and they were abusive. Therefore, to my
young mind, love was an impossible concept to understand
or to obtain. Throughout my life I honestly felt I had personally
done my best, and for that, I was on track with God.
My heart had pity for people, those who were ignorant
and not knowing. Little did I realize, it was I who
was ignorant. I know now, I was also judgmental.
I married the only person who indicated he liked me. I gave
birth to a son and then I had a daughter. When my son arrived,
it occurred to me that I was living the life of a hermit
as a JW.
Financially times were becoming tough and I was eager to start
a new business. It became very successful and I felt
my life was beautiful. My enthusiasm was affecting
At the time I was still doing 15-20 hours a week of "door
to door" service. Personal study was 10-15 hours a week,
and I loved it! It was at this time I decided to pray both
before and after
each study session. I was more sincere than ever. I was
reading through the Bible for the fourth time. For
some reason, things were not adding up, or
making any sense as I read the Bible, at
least in line with the JW things I had been taught.
I began asking questions of the JW elders only to be
told "you should know the answers". The Elders
I confided in, gossiped and made my concerns everyone's
business. My husband felt I was becoming an apostate wife and
he could not handle this. For three years this went on. I requested
help from the elders and they set goals for me. They
would quote Proverbs 31 to me, but never addressed
anything to my husband. It was addressed throughout the congregation
In ten years of marriage, we did not have two dozen intimate
encounters! The two children were truly miracles. He had no need,
and no desire. He used the TV to avoid me. Months would
go by, and even with my every effort, no intimate encounters
would take place. I was attractive, young, of reasonable
weight, care for myself, and family, the children
and the household. So why the neglect?
One night, while I was in a deep sleep, I awoke to find him
virtually raping me. I became very traumatized because father
had visited me in the night as a child and used me the
same way. My nerves were a wreck, my emotions were out
of whack. I confronted my husband confided in the elders
and they agreed that it was his right.. So! it was OK to just
take, it was OK to rape! It was the last straw amongst my confusion.
I gathered up my courage and left and filed for divorce.
I was disfellowshiped by the JW's for smoking, since
there was no adultery charged.
Now came the problems with custody of the children. Since
I never called the police about the abuse (I
called the elders instead), I was forced
to settle for joint custody. Three times this man told
the children "the God, Jehovah, (you must love), is
going to kill your Mother". Horrors have only begun.
I left the JW's years ago and the ongoing battle
is beyond belief. My daughter and son are wonderful children,
and I am grateful to be their caregiver.
To update, my ex-husband (now remarried to a JW)
sued my business. He lost, but
I also lost everything defending the lawsuit.
I then obtained a good job but he rallied every possible
JW to call me at work and cause disruptions at the job
place by their constant phoning. After six months of harassment
the company reluctantly let me go. Complaints to the elders
fell on deaf ears, as they explained to me that "it
was done for your own good". I am
not bitter, but I have learned what love is not. I
have grown and have become a better person. My life is simple.
I now have another job and I serve my community.
I write my children wonderful stories and have been able
to reach their hearts.
I have a new husband now who is the kindest man, with
outstanding wisdom, love and patience. We pray together
and are for the most part a happy family. If God
can forgive me for my divorce, He has not
only done that but also blessed me with a soulmate.
I am writing to obtain as much information
about child custody and the JW's as I
can. It is likely I will be brought into court
within the year. I need all the help I can get. I
thank you for listening to my story. (contributed to
Editor's note: This letter is an example of a
New Age concept still hanging on in this young lady,
even though she is a serious Bible student. False beliefs are
not easily left behind. A soulmate is a the most powerful
New Age concept which enables godhood. It represents
an eternal relationship with the opposite sex which culminates
in godhood, non-existent in God's creation.